Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
dude. I can hear the air.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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