i just had sex bonerless
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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