Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
