Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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