i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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