I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have already put on my inside pants.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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