I CAN MOONWALK!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize