can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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