just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
