I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You are the jesus of drinking
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
