She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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