He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
