he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
