I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize