This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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