well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
