My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize