what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
