But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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