my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
