i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
