can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
