Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
