question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
