just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
