That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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