is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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