I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
