bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
