Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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