youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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