She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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