I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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