i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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