They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
