She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
