Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
