We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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