A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
