I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
