just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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