he shaved USA in his pubs
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
