Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
