Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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