Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
