erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
