Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
