You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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