I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize