who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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