i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
