I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
