i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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