peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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