Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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