New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
