by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My pussy is not your playground.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
