Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
