Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize